Hi Friends! Today is a tale of preparation for Leaving Day. Share advice or stories if you have any please. I am a lover of both. (:
To begin, tomorrow is my last day at work. This is the final, looming checkpoint to my deployment. What I had been counting down in months and weeks can no longer fit into a shoe box. I had counted down by drills I had left, holidays to get through, or months to check off the calendar. Now, we are here. My last day at my civilian job, before I step into an entirely new life for a year.
I hear the same three questions multiple times a day: When do you leave? How do you feel? Are you scared?
Well. I leave soon. I am not scared. At least, I don’t think I am. We will see in a few days how I feel…
My bags are packed. That is not the preparation I am talking about. The preparation that is taking the most effort is the mental one. My mindset is to assess the emotions that I am going to be subject to when I leave and be mentally equipped to deal with them. Nothing is worse that getting hit with an unexpected feel when you aren’t ready.
My favorite method of preparation has been meditation, with focus on controlling negative emotions through breathing (literally, Mindfulness of Breathing). The closer Leaving Day gets, the more difficult it is to relax. I find meditation is a good way to get a mental break and reign in negative vibes.
Two pictures keep flowing through my mind. The one that brings the most negative vibes, that puts a lump in my throat, is the idea of the last hug I give my grandma. I have lived with my grandma since August while preparing for this deployment and we are very close. We have been inseparable since I was born. I hate the thought of leaving her in this empty house.
The next picture is equally sad. I keep seeing me standing in the airport, trying be a tough little soldier as I hug my mom. I know she’s going to cry and that’s going to make me cry. Because really, who could possibly watch their mom cry and not cry too?
Those are the two thoughts that bring any real negativity to this, the adventure of my life. But, as with anything in life, it will pass and we will learn to live with it. What more can we do, really?